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Fleshy
https://getfleshy.com
Where would you Get Fleshy? I guess the obvious answer is the website of the very same name, but let’s get a little creative, shall we? You can Get Fleshy on the bus, at the library, or while squatting on the WiFi at Starbucks, perhaps while watching one of my recent films over at PornDudeCasting. If you’re more of a private type, you might prefer to Get Fleshy in the comfort of your own home, where nobody’s going to start bitching about the porn you’re watching at full volume or the squishy, buzzy sound of the sex toy on your dingdong.
GetFleshy.com has a big disclaimer at the bottom of their front page, pointing out that they’re not affiliated in any way with Fleshlight. This is a totally different company hawking male sex toys designed to imitate the soft touch of human flesh. As we’ll see, though, these gadgets and gizmos can do shit that even the priciest hookers can’t do, let alone your wife. The site gets a couple hundred thousand visitors a month, which says something when there are so many options out there. Let’s see how they stack up to the selection at the smelly local sex shop.
Dick Strokers for the Refined Gentleman
GetFleshy has one of the simpler-looking websites I’ve seen selling sex toys lately. If you’ve checked out my list of Online Sex Toy Shops here at ThePornDude, or if you’ve just been doing some homework on your own, you already know that most sites hit you with a broad selection of dick strokers and pussy pounders, bondage implements and lube. It’s easy to get overwhelmed sometimes browsing a shop like AcmeJoy or Adam and Eve, thanks to sprawling catalogs of adult doodads.By contrast, Fleshy only has two high-end toys available, and they ain’t even direct competitors to each other. There’s the Fleshy Pro, a futuristic synthetic hole for you to stick your dick in, or the Fleshy Synflex, a futuristic vibrator that goes up your butthole. That’s it. Since the devices have completely different uses, you have a lot less worry about which device is right for you. Just ask yourself, what do I want to massage today?
This being the 21st century, GetFleshy.com offers free shipping to customers in the United States. Orders are processed within a few days outside of holiday seasons, meaning you should get your new girlfriend simulator without the blue balls getting too bad. Outside of the US, you’ll have to pay a little more and wait a little more, but it should be worth it.
They don’t have a satisfaction guarantee, but they do have a fairly standard and reasonable set of refund and exchange policies. Basically, they’ll refund or replace it if you get a lemon, but that’s it. It’s not like a fish sandwich that they can just put back on the shelf after you’ve already fucked it, you know. Show some fucking class.
Who Wants to Get Fleshy?
As enticing as that Blade-Runner-looking prostate massager looks, I was initially more interested in GetFleshy’s Fleshy Pro. It’s visually similar to other high-end fap sleeves, though it’s a little curvier and sleeker looking than the average Fleshlight. The white color scheme and soft contours make it look like Apple finally got into the dick-rubbing business, though it’s considerably cheaper than what those bastards would (over)charge.The Fleshy Pro usually goes for $120, which is about right for a higher end, electronic male masturbator. They’re currently running a sale, though, putting the price at a penny under seventy bones. That makes it cheaper than similar gadgets from other companies. Fleshlight’s vibrating toys start at around $90 on the lower end, while Tenga wants almost twice that for the buzzy versions of their Flip Hole series.
“Ever drink a thick milkshake through a straw?” the promo page asks. “That’s how the Fleshy Pro sucks.” To illustrate, they’ve provided an animated GIF of the Fleshy slowly sucking a banana in and out. Is it weird to get a boner looking at a fruit animation? Because I’m just imaging how that would feel on my own banana, and I already want to buy this thing.
The Fleshy Pro has three modes: vibration, suction and tugging. I wish they offered a little more info on how the different modes work. A video would be great, but they only list some basic details. “The vacuum is what sets Fleshy apart from its competition,” reads the bullet point, but doesn’t elaborate further on just how it sucks. Likewise, all they say about the vibration is that there are ten different modes.
Another animated image on Get Fleshy shows the Fleshy Pro’s sleeve being twisted and stretched out, showing off the soft, flexible material of RealSkin technology. It’s made of medical-grade silicone, and while we could get into a whole debate on the merits of silicone vs TPE, that’s a topic for another day. Honestly, the verdict is still out on that whole argument, and I still don’t have a preference between the two. Clean your toys regularly and you should be fine.
And This One Goes in Your Butt
Maybe you’ve already got a cock stroker or just a regular ol’ fap sleeve. They are, after all, the most common forms of male masturbation toys. I’ve got my own growing collection of the things, and that’s not even counting the toys companies send me to try out on the PornDudeCasting couch. If you’re similarly well stocked on things to wrap around your schlong, perhaps you’d be interested in GetFleshy.com’s other adult offering.Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about the Fleshy Synflex. “Our powerful prostate massager for men,” reads the little blurb out front, spelling it out for folks who don’t immediately recognize the unit’s function. Put it on a different website and people would assume it’s a fancy joystick for playing Fortnite, not cramming up your ass.
Again, I feel like GetFleshy could offer some more illustrative examples of how the device is actually used. Then again, prostate massagers are one of those things where if you know, you know. The Synflex has seven levels of vibration, which you control with an egg-shaped remote control. Alternately, have your partner control it while you convulse on the ground in ecstasy.
“The Fleshy Synflex Prostate Massager is a unique device designed with a curved that fits comfortably in the body and can be used to massage the prostate gland, pelvic floor muscles, and other nearby tissue,” reads the blurb. “The massager is made of a soft, flexible material that is easy to clean.” There’s some stock art of an attractive couple in bed, lit by soft sunlight, with the Synflex superimposed in the foreground, unused.
Both the Fleshy Pro and the Fleshy Synflex are charged by USB, though the Synflex offers more playtime per charge with about 4-5 hours of battery life. Meanwhile, the Fleshy Pro will buzz and suck for about an hour, so make sure to plug that bad boy in when it ain’t buzzing away on your shaft.
The fact that GetFleshy.com only offers two different toys can mean a couple different things. They are a fairly young company, so it’s possible they just haven’t expanded their product lineup much yet. The name Fleshy Pro implies there was a previous, non-professional version that has since been discontinued, though I could be wrong.
Then again, maybe the minimal catalog is just based on sheer confidence. Perhaps GetFleshy feels they only need two devices because each one does its job perfectly. As mentioned earlier, sex toy catalogs can be imposing as hell. Most guys go in looking for one thing and end up falling down the rabbit hole, looking at hundreds of slight variations of essentially the same product. I’m just looking for a tight hole to lube up and bang!
GetFleshy.com might be the perfect choice for curious grown men looking for a new sex toy, but who don’t want to spend hours window shopping the other sites. I’d consider their two products to be on the cheaper side of high end; they ain’t the fanciest electronic cock massagers in the world, but they’re a big step up from the basic silicone fap sleeves they sell at every highway-exit sex shop. You won’t break the bank, but you will end up with something comfortable to blow your loads into.
- Premium male sex toys
- Two models to choose from
- Free shipping in the usa
- Cheaper than similar devices from bigger-name brands
- 3 Modes – vibration, suction and tugging
- Minimal options
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