Sofi Ryan

Sofi Ryan, born Hailey Hampshire, was born in Seattle, Washington, on December 9th, 1992. After graduating high school, Sophie wasn't feeling like going to college. Instead, she wanted to hit the workforce but not as some dull retail employee. She already knew how much men loved staring at her, so why not turn those stares into dollar signs?

The Burning Bush Cafe

Sofi became a cam girl and softcore erotic model for several publications, including the world-famous Playboy Magazine. As her modeling career got off the ground, Sophie filled in the gaps by becoming a bikini barista.

I've heard of bikini bartenders before. In fact, I know them very well. You could say I've known them in the Shakspearean sense. In other words, biblically. Also known as I've fucked a lot of bikini bartenders in my day.

It's a great way to drink for free. My style is simple. I walk up to a bitch and say, "dick for gin?"

However, a bikini barista is very different. First off, the risks are absurdly higher. At any time, you're one lousy move from spilling scolding hot water all over your genitals. Generally, that leads to a bad day. Just ask that old bitch that spilled McDonald's coffee on herself.

If burning my dick would feel bad, I can't imagine burning my labia. Pussy blisters is a great punk band name, but not a good medical condition to roll up to the hospital with.

And let's not even talk about asshole blistering. The last thing I want to shit through is some asshole blisters. I believe that's how you go septic. I'd have to get my shit C-sectioned out for a month.

After getting out of the bathing suit latte game, Sofi felt a bit stuck. Where do you go from, bikini barista? Had she already piqued at twenty-five? No. She couldn't let that happen.

From Coffee to Clits

That's when Sofi decided to try her hand at hardcore porn. No more of this dancing around the bush bullshit. Fuck Playboy. Fuck coffee beans. The only bean on the menu from now on is her clit.

In 2017, at the age of twenty-five, Sofi signed a contract with Los Angeles Direct models. One year later, she was nominated for the best new actress by both The Adult Video News Awards and XBIZ. That year she also scored a nom for the best virtual reality sex scene. It was a sign of her success to come over the next few years. The bitch found what she was made for.

And with that, let's dive into Sofi's Twitter account. Sofi loves using Twitter to keep up with her biggest fans. If you want to stay abreast of what this bitches breasts are up to, subscribe.

Her description, first and foremost, defines this as her one and only Twitter account. Don't fall victim to the fakers. If you would like to chat with Sofi, you can contact her on her official website, Sofi Ryan. Finally, she labels herself as a dreamer and theme park junkie.

Sofi joined Twitter in February of 2017 and has since collected almost two hundred thousand followers. That's a quick rise to stardom. It's probably because she's sexy as fuck and loves dick.

Sliding My D in her M(uff)

The tweet pinned to the top of her page currently is a superb picture showing off her body. It's taken from under her pussy while lying down so you can see the entire front of her body. The caption that comes along says, "Like and retweet this post if you would slide in *devil emoji*"

Of fucking course, I would slide in. I would slide in that bitch with reckless abandon. You could tell me you have herpes, chlamydia, aids, and butthole cancer, and I still wouldn't wear a condom. I have to feel that raw pussy on my dick, please.

I enjoyed the selfie Sofi posted for Thanksgiving, but it's a good time to bring up her makeup. Sofi wears an awful lot of it, which is typical for porn stars, but she takes it up a notch. Bitch looks like a painting. It's like she glued an Instagram filter to her face. I think she could take it down a couple of orders of magnitude and still be covering whatever has her worried.

However, a big draw of Sofis is her cuteness, and I assume makeup helps attain that look. I love a cute porn star, but I guarantee this bitch would be just as cute with an inch less foundation on her flesh.

Sex For Teslas

Sofi has a happening My Free Cams account where you can buy or rent a considerable amount of her content. Not only that, but you can purchase time by the minute also. Only The Porn Dude readers struggle with erectile dysfunction, even when jerking off alone in their mother's basement.

People who purchase Sofi's content on My Free Cams can choose to tip, and Sofi very much appreciates it. Currently, she is saving her tip money to buy a Tesla. Teslas aren't fucking cheap, so be generous. What the fuck am I saying? You motherfuckers don't have any money.

Sofi often posts little samples of what can be found on her My Free Cams account, so keep up on her Twitter to not miss a thing. Trust me. You don't want to.

Along with the thousand other ways Sofi creates content, she Twitch streams also. She always announces her shows on Twitter, so give her a follow. Her Twitch streams are... let's say, invigorating.

One outlet that Sofi uses that my readers may be less familiar with is Unfiltrd, also known as Unfiltrd Fans. You can think of Unfiltrd as another Only Fans spin-off. Each spin-off has its own twist, and Sofi likes this one. Plus, many new Only Fans rips offer discounts to porn stars to use their service. You have to start somewhere.

She's not the only one getting a deal out of Unfiltrd. You earn a free five-minute video call when you sign up for Sofi's account. My readers can bust three nuts in five minutes, so it will be well worth your effort.

Sofi's thirtieth birthday party is coming up, and she's looking for things to do. One thing's for sure. I bet she'll be doing something special for her fans. It may be Sofi's birthday, but she always thinks of her fans first. I bet we're about to be treated to some seriously sexy clips. I have my dick in hand for it already.

Pringle Dingle

One of the many studios that Sofi works with is the incredible Brazzers. Who the fuck doesn't love Brazzers? Every straight male with his genitals still attached watches that shit, so check out her sneaky movie fuck scene that just released. Let's just say that from now on, I'll always have an empty pringles can with the bottom cut out in my cupboard, just in case it may "come" in "handy."

To return to Sofi's live shows, as I said, she doesn't fuck around. She is one of the few ladies that will do a live boy-girl casting. I'm not sure why this is rarer than other stream formats, but when I see a bitch doing it, I always take note. Sofi, you have earned my good graces.

Slam-Ass-Ador

I've just found a post explaining Sofi's love for Unfiltrd: she is their newest ambassador. That means she has the brand on her back and is bringing it to the light with her pussy. With bitches like Sofi on their roster, Unfiltrd is sure to rise to the top.

My favorite aspect of Sofi is her titties. They are full, natural, pillowy, and soft. They're great for putting your face between, your dick between, and your cum between. I'm not a big cum on tits fan, but I'd do it for you, Sofi.

Why am I not a big cum on tits fan? Easy. I'd much rather cum in a bitches mouth, pussy, or asshole. Why would I pull out and start jerking off just as things get good? I want to pump my cum deep against a bitches uterus where it feels best. I'm trying to get some jizz on a bitches spleen. Otherwise, is it even sex? Why would I ask you fucks? You have no idea what good sex is.

Sofi Ryan is one hot cookie. Her tits will have you hypnotized. As a brand new Unfiltrd ambassador, she has a whole new venue to release some of her best content.

My only suggestion for Sofi is to take the makeup down a notch or two. If I slapped your face right now, it would disappear in a cloud of powder.

You haven't lived until you've seen Sofi's tits, and I need you alive and reading more Porn Dude articles, so head over now.