Mia Marin

Whether you have enjoyed the fruit of the vine yourself or not, everyone knows how fun it is to bump uglies with Latin bitches. Bitches like Mia Marin are known the world over for their sexual exploits. Latin chicks are fiery, sexy, and ready to do the deed at the drop of a hat. There is nothing like Mia's sexy Latin voice crying out for more in Spanish. It could make me bust a nut in a second flat.

Soul Suckers

I feel bad if you have never dipped your dong in one of these ladies. I can still recall my first time getting down and dirty with a Latin chick. I was wearing sturdy canvas pants, but she tore them off me like a basketball player stepping off the bench. The look on her face said, “I’m either going to use your penis as my own personal dildo or snap it in half like splitting a Kit-Kat bar." Fortunately, I selected the former.

When I say she sucked the soul out of my cock, I’m not exaggerating. I watched my ethereal spirit leave my penis and float toward the open firmament. Several days later, it was returned to me by a beautiful Latin witch doctor from Brazil. Little did I know her intent was to replace my soul, only to suck it right back out. The demand must be high for The Porn Dude's soul.

I thought I had nothing left to take after she robbed my essence from my urethra, but she smacked my wang back to life and sat on it like a racecar driver slipping into the driver's seat. That's when the “aye yai yais” and “oooh daddies” started coming out of her mouth. If she hadn’t just emptied my testies seconds earlier, I would have slung ropes immediately. That's when I came to realize this bitch had schemed her attack all along. She knew my dong couldn’t handle her tight vagine without being emptied first. This isn’t a bitches first rodeo.

As she rode me like a stead reverse cowgirl style, all I could do was watch her ass and reach for her jiggling tits. All intelligent thoughts in my head ceased. My monkey brain stem was the only thing keeping my autonomic nervous system running. Otherwise, I would have given up breathing, and my heart would have stopped. It's like I was brain-dead except for my penis. No matter what the heart and brain are up to, the penis has its own goals in mind.

Cum Bucket

When she came, it was with such energy that local geologists caught it on their Richter scale. Her squirting soaked through the carpet and into my downstairs neighbor's apartment, ruining his new carpets. Fortunately, he is a sexless reader of mine who probably gathered it in a bucket to drink while playing pocket pool.

Once all was said and done, I was but a husk. Not even my own mother would have recognized me. I felt like my skin had been burned from my bones, only leaving a bleached skeleton behind. She might as well have stolen my dick to hang like a trophy in her apartment. I bet it would look similar to a shrunken head but much, much bigger. A keepsake to the time she destroyed someone's manhood with such zeal and vigor that it no longer wanted to exist on its owner's body. I may never have an experience like that again.

Every sexual experience I've had since is compared to that instance, and one of the few bitches to keep up is Mia Marin. I’m like a drug addict chasing that first high but never quite getting there until you OD. But even then, it never comes. It’s something I hope I'll get to tell my grandkids about one day. Hopefully, they get to fill a Latin bitches pussy up with jizz juice when they grow up, just like their granddaddy.

Teaching the Youth

But, until that day comes for them, they can enjoy Mia Marin's porn. It’s not quite the same as fucking her, but it’s as close as you ugly fuckers will ever come. My grandchildren will be trained from birth in how to handle tight Latin pussy themselves. I want my spawn to be armed with all the wisdom they need to get through life, and how to properly fuck Latin bitches is a sizable chunk of that. Fuck learning how to drive or write a resume. I want them to make Mia Marin and any bitches like her squirt buckets of vaginal fluid onto the mattress. Is that too much to ask for the family I hold so dear?

When my children inevitably ask me one day where they can see the best Latin porn, I will point them toward Mia Marin's Twitter page. She's the perfect example of what makes Latin chicks so fuckable. Everything from her personality to her body makes me wanna strip her naked and go balls deep.

Born October 1st, 1994, Mia is still a fresh-faced teen with the porn world at her fingertips. What's really insane is that she already has well over a million followers. Only the sexiest porn sluts can put up those kind of numbers. Ladies work for years and don't have a third of those followers.

Good News

I'm about to make everyone's day reading this right now. You might want to grab a tissue box in case you cry tears of joy or cum in your pants. While you're at it, you should sit down also.

Mia Marin tours around letting fans fuck the shit out of her. Yes, you just read that previous statement correctly. If you have the money and ability to travel south, you could be a notch on Mia's bedpost.

And I'm not talking about private visits to your house or hotel room. This bitch sets her pussy up in swinger clubs and lets the hounds in. Mia has no qualms about lining up forty gents and knocking them down like bowling pins. Her pussy is tireless. It can hold more jizz than a shop vac.

When Mia rolls into town, the divorce rate skyrockets. She's the cause of more broken homes than going out for a pack of smokes. Her pussy has been cited in divorce court proceedings enough that MMP has become legalese for Mia Marin's Pussy.

And when I say tour, I do mean tour. Mia doesn't confine her pussy to one location. She hops in cars, trains, and planes to ship that gash wherever it's needed most. I can tell you where it's needed most right this minute: My dick.

Keep an eye on Mia's Twitter wall for upcoming dates. If you attend an event, I advise you to get there early. After the twentieth or thirtieth load, her pussy becomes so slippery that it's hard to get any friction. It feels like fucking a cloud if clouds were made of sperm instead of water vapor.

Oddly enough, Mia often combines her pussy tour with stand-up comedy. I get it. Laughing is fun. Sex is fun. Shouldn't the two be fun together? And they are. But stand-up is a different context. I'd prefer a fluffer to keep me hard while I'm waiting in line over having Carrot Top on stage, but that's just me.

I hope she throws some free pussy to the comedic talent. Stand-up isn't easy, and I don't imagine performing to a single file line full of guys massaging their dick tips makes it any easier. It might be the ultimate test of someone's Comedy skills. It's the boss battle.

And is Mia audibly moaning during the performance? It would be tough to maintain a rhythm when you're constantly interrupted by fake orgasm sounds.

Mia Marin might be my reader's perfect porn star. You can creep on her via Twitter, jerk off to her via porn, see the bitch in person, and even slide your pathetic little cock inside her.

One improvement I'd like to see Mia make is to include even more nudes. Sometimes there are a shit ton of posts in between tit pics, and it hurts me.

Mia might be your best chance of fucking a porn star, so make the first move by at least following her on Twitter. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.