Alura Jenson

Some countries exude a sexiness that others can't. There are many factors that determine a nation's ambient sexiness. Such things as language, music, dance, and, of course, genetics.

Fuckability

It would appear that Italy has all the ingredients, so it's no wonder they are known the world over as beautiful and passionate lovers. It's also no wonder that plenty of Italians are in adult entertainment.

Can we take a second to talk about the accent? Fucking hell, it's sexy. There is nothing like hearing an Italian woman about to cum yell your name out into the aethers. If a bitch does that while tugging on my balls, I'm liable to launch a nut that reaches escape velocity.

That brings me to Alura Jenson. Alura was born in Florence, Italy, on May 31st, 1977. Soon after exiting the womb, her family moved to the United States. For whatever reason, they chose New Jersey near the border of Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, New Jersey and Pennsylvania are two of the worst states in the union. I'd rather move to the North Pole and hang out with the polar bears and reindeer.

After graduating, Alura joined the military. I must say, I don't look at this bitch as she is today and see army material, but she wasn't exactly a marine grunt. Instead, she worked as a physical rehabilitation specialist for both the Navy and Army. That's not an easy gig, but if you can help brutally injured soldiers walk again, you can definitely take a dick or two in your asshole.

While in the military, she met and fell in love with her first husband. They ended up having two children, and things seemed perfect. Alura gained significant weight during her pregnancy, so she hit the gym hard. In the process of losing weight, she fell in love with bodybuilding.

From Base to Vegas

Despite the appearance of perfection, Alura got a divorce in 2010 and flipped her life upside down. She quit the army, moved to Vegas, and got a gig stripping.

I'm not sure what inspired this significant lifestyle change, but I hope pissing off her ex was at least part of it. Nothing says fuck you like showing your tits to complete strangers for more money in a year than the government would have paid her in a lifetime.

Only two years after becoming a stripper, Alura upgraded to the porn industry. It's the natural evolution of a military rehabilitation specialist. First, ACL tears, then clear high heels, and finally cock gargling. It's the American way.

She was thirty-five when she entered the industry, so you know what that means. It means she has been a certified milf from day one. Her path was already laid before her. Plus, she got BDSM experience while working in Vegas, so she had all the tools to build a successful career with.

What does the world never have enough of? Milf dominatrix. Fortunately, Alura was happy to join the ranks and bolster the numbers.

Being a multitalented performer quickly endeared her to the industry. Now, ten years later, she has worked with all the best motherfuckers, such as Evil Angel, Kink, Wicked, Lethal Hardcore, Naughty America, Brazzers, Jules Jordan Video, Zero Tolerance, Reality Kings, Girlfriends Films, Devil's Films, and Bang Bros.

As any good porn businesswoman does, Alura maintains an active Twitter account. At the top of her page, she describes herself as a misfit of modern madness. Tell me you're a Blink-182 fan without telling me you're a Blink-182 fan.

A Woman of Many Talents

She also notes that she specializes in Fqet, which is a type of physical therapy. I'm not sure what it entails, but one can assume my dick would be involved. If I ever suffer a spinal injury that requires me to learn to walk again, blow jobs will be an essential part of the healing process. How else am I supposed to stay motivated and optimistic?

Along with porn, Alura is the owner and operator of All Joy Inspired. Alura might suck some penis for pesos, but she is more than a cum dumpster. At least, according to her.

All Joy Inspired is dedicated to helping performers in the adult industry take the skills and talents they've learned imbibing jizz, and put them toward other business ventures.

I'm fine with this as long as she doesn't encourage my favorite porn stars to quit doing what they do best. If you want to start a food truck or open a dispensary, so be it, but don't remove the genitals from your mouth while you do it. Never forget your roots.

Alura joined Twitter in February of 2012, immediately after entering the adult industry. The bitch was an intelligent businesswoman from day one. Since 2012 she has gathered nearly five hundred and fifty thousand followers. But, remember Alura, they came for (and to) your tits. Not your motivation and encouragement. Unless, of course, it's the encouragement to masturbate.

As we come to the meat and potatoes of Alura's Twitter wall, you'll find many inspiring messages and calls to action. Alura believes in you. If she had any idea the kind of pieces of shit my readers are, she wouldn't feel so confident about human potential.

Will You Suck Steve's Dick?

"When you want something so much, the determination fills you with a near fury. It's an obsession, this vision." Alright, Alura, but what if the only thing my readers can envision is their cock moving in and out of your asshole. Can they make that dream come true?

Can Steve, the four hundred-pound porn addict who lives in his parent's basement and reads my articles all day, envision his way into your pussy? Something tells me not. I'm sorry, boys, but I don't want Alura getting you too fired up. Dreams are crushed every day, so it's best if you just keep beating off and playing video games.

Obviously, Alura's Twitter account isn't all business. Otherwise, she wouldn't have so many followers. If people want to be motivated, they'll follow David Goggins or Tony Robbins. If they want to see the wrinkles of a woman's asshole, they'll follow you.

I make fun, but I don't mind Alura's encouraging messages. Everyone needs a kick in the pants, even when they have a hand on their dick. However, one thing I can't stand to see on a porn star's social media is anything political.

We fucking get it. The world is falling apart at the seams, but I don't want to think about that shit when I'm stroking my cock. If you want to philosophize on the nature of democracy or voting reform, do it on a private account where you don't post gifs of your mouth being bukkakeed. It's a real moment, ruiner.

Alura is a big American Football fan, so expect to occasionally see sports news on her page. This is the type of shit that should replace any political statements. All we want are pictures of your puss and current sports news. If Alura sticks to that, she'll have a million followers in no time.

Having grown up near Pennsylvania, Alura is a Philadelphia Eagles fan through and through. If you know anything about American Football, then you know how fucking insane Eagles fans are. She recently posted a clip of a Youtuber rating the most annoying fanbases in sports, and the Eagles came sixth.

I have to disagree. The eagles should be in the top five, at least. Sure, the crowd doesn't draw and quarter refs by hand for a bad call like Brazilian soccer fans, but they do get nuts. Whether they win or lose, you can expect a riot complete with flipped cars and burned-down businesses.

Keep Elon Away From My Cock, Please

That brings us to another hot take of Alura's. Her opinions on Elon Musk. I don't give a fuck what people think about Elon. All that matters to me is that you leave your opinion of him off a porn Twitter account. Nothing saps the energy from my erection like his marginally retarded face.

Let's end on a high note. Alura often runs a special where the first thirty days of subscription to her Only Fans account is free. I wish more porn stars would do this. It's a great way to increase viewership and show love for your fans. Alura fans are dedicated folks, so they deserve it.

Alura is more than a porn star. She's a smart cookie that's motivated to accomplish her goals. It just so happens that she is also an extremely fuckable milf.

However, her intelligence sometimes gets in the way of her porn-based Twitter account. Perhaps she should start a secondary account for political and motivational purposes.

Trust me. You don't want to live the rest of your life without seeing Alura's giant tits. You'll kick yourself in hell if you do.