TS4Rent

TS 4 Rent! So, you're addicted to tranny escorts, right? Well, I’ve got something a little different for you perverts today. The women are as lovely and sexually depraved as the chicks I normally talk about, and they’re literally sluts this time. Before you whip out your credit card and order in, let me warn you, the transexual escorts at TS 4 Rent are the type who whip out their dicks.

We can get into a whole philosophical discussion about whether or not paying a tranny to fondle your balls and lick your asshole makes you a fag, but honestly, I don’t give a fuck. Work through your issues on your own time. Hey, maybe you can start with a look at TS4Rent.eu, you totally straight and manly stud.

Trannsexuals for Rent

Do you know what you get when you type TS4 into Google? A bunch of hits about The Sims 4. That’s good news for you married freaks. When your wife catches you browsing TS4Rent, you can just tell you were trying to get a good deal on her favorite simulated dollhouse. As long as you can fake interest in the make-up sex, she’s sure to believe you weren’t actually trying to hire a prostitute with both a penis and breasts.

Actually, maybe you should just remember to clear your browser history. There’s no mistaking what this site is. The header has the site name and links to their TS MASSEURS and VIP ESCORTS areas, or if you’re in a hurry you can skip to AVAILABLE NOW. Impulse shoppers beware, that kind of convenience is how I found out what felching was.

Beneath the header, big-ass images of some of the site’s top models scroll by. I shit you not, there’s a hooker in Alabama who looks exactly like Katy Perry, except she has a dong dangling between her gorgeous legs. All the trannies passing across the top of the screen are beyond passable, as are the TS4Rent Exclusives in the thumbnails below. I have to wonder if it’s because of some kind of internal vetting process, or if the site just has higher caliber dick-girls than other places.

There’s a conspicuous absence of cock on most of the page. It’s like the invisible elephant in the room. I see plenty of cleavage, but the nipples seem to be hidden by sheer tops, tasseled pasties, or pink pixels. It’s almost as if TS4Rent is shooting for a relatively safe-for-work front page. I’m not sure what the point is. If your boss won’t let you choose your next paid bang while on the clock, tell him I called him an asshole.

It seems like they try to put a little bit of all their offerings out front. There are Featured VIP TS Escorts, a TS of the Day, and lots of Exclusive and Featured videos. There are tranny escort blogs and even interviews with a bunch of them. There’s enough content that you might even forget this is primarily a destination to hire a TS whore.

Worldwide and Slick as Hell

One thing that impressed me right away was how slick this site looks. This isn’t some bare-bones Backpage bullshit. Some serious money and effort went into making it look great and function well. TS4Rent may be the most polished directory of transvestite harlots the Internet has ever seen. There’s no spam, either, which is incredible for a site that doesn’t demand you sign up every time you touch the mouse.

It’s almost glossy and professional enough that I forget how many people still frown on paying for sex. Nevermind that it’s the oldest and probably most noble profession in human history, some prudes don’t want you to have any fun with sluts, whether they’ve got pee-pees or wee-wees. Remember to consult the local laws and don’t blame The Porn Dude for a goddamn thing. You’re a grown-up.

TS4Rent has an EU domain, but they’re not limited to European escorts. The site actually has listings around the whole world. They immediately wanted access to my location when I first pulled it up. I said No, but they used my IP address to figure out what country I was in anyway. Sound the alarm, ladies, that was clearly some woke shit.

If you make your way to the search screen, you can see the full list of places to find your TS escort. It’s an almost endless dropdown menu, with pretty much every country you’d expect, and a bunch you wouldn’t. Would you guess you could hire a cocked prostitute in Iraq, Saudi Arabia, or Pakistan? Because you can, at least technically. I’m not responsible if you get your head cut off for it, though.

Countries are then broken down into more specific regions. Proving that eating wieners and paying for sex are proud American traditions, US locations make up half the list. It looks like Germany, the UK, and Canada all love trannies, too.

Find Your Perfect Tranny

While you’re on the search screen, you may as well dip into the Advanced Options. If you’re a metropolitan motherfucker living somewhere with a big selection of TS escorts, you’re going to have to.

You can narrow down your options through physical attributes, ethnicity, style, or what services they offer. The services are pretty vague so TS4Rent can keep that plausible deniability. They’re not actually helping you buy a blowjob from a transsexual whore. They’re helping you hire an 18-23-year-old, pre-op Asian masseuse or photo model with green eyes, a slim build, extra-large tits and a dick no shorter than 9 inches. Or whatever floats your boat.

What kind of tranny are you into? The classic chick with a dick or something different? I’m not “woke” enough to explain the difference between shemales, ladyboys, or any of the dozen tranny categories TS4Rent lets you choose from. I’ve actually been trying to learn, because it’s on the quiz college sluts give you before hooking up these days.

Once you’ve got your preferences dialed in, TS4Rent serves up a personalized menu of TS escorts in your area. Click on one to open their profile page, where you can see all of her stats, as well as photo and video collections. There’s also a little notice that says, “This site prohibits any offer or solicitation for prostitution.” I’m sure you’ll take it very seriously.

One of the best features of the site has to be the user reviews. I mean, shit, you wouldn’t drop a couple of bills on Amazon without looking at the damn reviews. Why would you hire someone to give you a rusty trombone without first finding out if they’ve got soft palms and a moist tongue? TS4Rent verifies the reviews with both the clients and escorts to make sure everything’s on the level. You’re way less likely to get robbed or syphilis this way.

Worth the Sign-Up or Nah?

You’re probably thinking that all sounds great, but you don’t want to leave a paper trail. Yeah, you really want a crossdresser or a full-fledged post-op tranny to toss your salad, but not if it means forking over your email address. I’ve got some great news for you, fruitcake. The search is free to use, no sign-up required, and all the escort contact info is included.

The bad news is that you only get a few pics of the tranny you’re about to hire, and they’re all safe for work. Do you really want to buy a hot dog, sight unseen? The exclusive galleries and videos are for members only.

If I was trying to hire a shemale “masseuse”, I think I’d be okay with the smaller gallery and lack of videos. You can’t see the reviews either, though. Those are way more valuable to potential customers and probably worth your time.

Look, I’m not here to judge you, at least not out loud. If you want to pay a woman with a huge cock to insert a rubber fist deep inside your anal cavity, that’s your business. I can’t think of a better website than TS4Rent to procure that type of service. The site looks good, works well, and has a huge selection of TS escorts basically everywhere.