GuessWhoX2

GuessWhoX2 porn! It’s been a while since I’ve seen a porn chick that hides her face. It always kind of baffles me. You’re showing your pussy for every old smelly fart to see but hiding your face? We can see all the glorious lady bits anyways. So, what’s the fucking point? Everyone is showing off their naughty bits, face included these days. Even old grannies. Yeah. You read that right. I’ve seen them all over the interwebs. They even have their own OnlyFans. Imagine what sixty year old pussy looks like. Well, if you’re sixty yourself, I’m sorry. Except if you fuck younger bitches. But that’s not usually the case. You old farts are already married with grand grandchildren. That pussy stank of old pennies and chamomile tea. There are spiderwebs and mold brewing daily. I can’t say I’ve tasted such old pussy. But you know, people eat moldy cheese for some reason. It’s good to an extent. Slap it on a pizza and I’m guzzling that shit like it’s a 25 year olds vagina. So, who knows? Maybe I’ll like old pussy.

GuessWhoX2 is no old chick though. She’s hot, young and smooth. What a fucking menace this woman. Naming herself GuessWhoX2 and everything. Just toying more and more with my emotions. I can’t guess who when I have no idea who you are. You fucking tease. I don’t need to guess. I’m coming for that ass and meeting you in person. Who needs to play guessing games? We’re not teens anymore. Let’s just smash. I have to smash that ass. Her ass is in full view in every damn picture she’s posted. And of course, it would be. It’s divine. So many bitches with good asses, so little time. All the ones that I’ve been reviewing lately have had godly asses.

Smashable Ass

Since that’s the only thing she wants to show us, I’ll give it some love. Her ass is all up in my business all over my screen. I don’t get it. I just can’t understand how this ass is real. And it is, I checked. The proportions aren’t natural. But it only seems that way. The chicks I see on the street every day aren’t porn stars. Well, at least most of them. Everyone and their grandma have an OnlyFans these days. Point is, I have certain expectations of what an ass should be. It’s all about nature and nurture. I’ve been nurtured to see asses that are mediocre and meh. And then I discovered porn. A whole new world of opportunity opened up. Suddenly, my penis started crying with joy. I don’t know if you’ve had this experience. It leaks some white liquid and it feels really good when it does that. Odd, I know. Maybe I’m the only one.

Back to teaching you about Godly asses. And also, tight waists. I’m sure your first ten girlfriends have had normal looking bodies. Oh, wait. I forgot my audience doesn’t have those. Okay, let’s get back to square one. I’m sure the crush you had in school was mediocre at best. But you thought she was super hot. And then you go and see GuessWhoX2. And you’re thinking if you should just give up. Or maybe go get buff in the gym and read a lot of books or something. Only to become the man that a girl like GuessWhoX2 deserves. Plus, she likes getting her asshole eaten out. Ten points to GuessWhoX2.

What are Breasts?

Either Google is broken or something is wrong here. I don’t think a gazillion dollar company doesn’t know what tits are. Well, on one hand, they’re all nerds who like to code. So, who knows? But as far as I know, when I search for a goddamn tit, I get me a goddamn tit. This is not the case for GuessWhoX2. There are literally zero images of her with her twins. I bet they’re super disappointing if she hides them this well. No face, no tits. Just ass and wait. At this point, I’ll just get myself a fleshlight and be done with it. I’m working with half a woman here. And the ass is second on my list anyways. Tits rule. This is a fact. If you prefer ass, you’re wrong. Go see a shrink about your wrong worldview. Also, fine, I’ll do some extra digging to find those tits. I do it for the love.

There’s one goddamn picture in the entirety of the internet. It’ll most likely be lost in history. When historians look for tits to jack off to, they’ll never get to see GuessWhoX2’s. But it’s not a very sweet sight anyway. I mean, a tit is a tit. It’s still driving my cock in a steady upward motion. But these bitches be small as fuck. There’s barely anything there. Now I see why she chooses to only show her caboose. It’s far superior to her tits. It’s in another multiverse. And in the only picture she’s got with tits, she’s downing a bottle of vodka. Not exactly the most attractive sight. GuessWhoX2, get some champagne and a boob job. Or not, do whatever you want. I’m just the ThePornMater, not like my opinion matters. At least she’s got some tattoos on her. It always makes a woman more interesting to look at. A wise woman once said that you don’t put a sticker on a Bentley. This was one of those fat assed Kardashians. Whoever it was, she was wrong. Tattoos are hot. Except for really shitty ones. But at least it gives me something to laugh at.

Interesting Person

I can’t believe my opinion has been altered only by reading her Pornhub bio. I didn’t have a strong opinion yet but I was tittering on the line of disliking her. Don’t blame me, I’m just a dog who likes big boobies and nice faces. But in her bio is says that she likes petting dogs. So, hello, I’m a dog, and you like petting dogs. We can become friends. Friends who sniff each others asses. I’ll tell you when it’s your turn. First, it’ll be my turn to do all the ass touching. Shhh… don’t tell her, I’ll never let her have her turn. Or maybe just a little, if she’s really good at it. Do you have any idea how nice ass massages are? I sit on my ass all day; the little guy needs some love. No one thinks to give it some attention. Everyone just wants to rub my cock. It’s getting old ladies. Get to know my ass first.

Her bio is kind of endearing. She doesn’t sound like your regular random porn star with no brain cells to put butter on toast. She even talks about her love for hiking and laughing. Here, I’ll say it, that’s cute as fuck. Plus, she only films with her husband. Or boyfriend. Don’t know which one it is but who cares. I’m here to see the man's penis enter that ass, nothing more about him interests me. As far as interests go, she states that she’s mostly interested in sex. Dirty little minx. Hey, GuessWhoX2, I think you and your hubby are pretty swell together. So, I won’t try to fuck you or anything. I’ll be a gentleman, okay? If he ever breaks up with you, I can be your rebound. I promise to give you good, solid cock. It can even do bar tricks. I know you’re wondering what they are, but that’s a secret. At least that’s how I get half of the ladies in bed. Curiosity killed the standards.

Pussy Vacuum

That pussy vacuum is making me cum. Her puss spreads and opens up like a can of pate when it’s being fucked. You can see her innards dragging along cock. It’s very hot to see. Her husband has a mid but thick cock so I’ll declare him deserving of that ass. Plus, he eats her asshole like there’s no tomorrow. This babe is fucked right. And very often. Lucky ducky. I have to bend over backward to get a phone number. Maybe I should stop picking up chicks on the bus and go to a club or something. That’s what the young people are doing these days. I can’t stand it, even for some pussy. Way too much annoying shitty music and cheap beer.

What is a guy to do with looking at GuessWhoX2 pretty pussy? It’s too late and I’ve been staring at ass all day. So, I’m out of ideas. You have two options. Give me some, or give me some. The rest of GuessWhoX2’s porn is lackluster. It’s just her getting dicked from behind. Over and over. You can pump and dump to it once but you’ll get bored after that. There’s nothing too memorable here. Plus, there are other babes with asses this good. Who do a lot more content wise. GuessWhoX2, get some spicy action involved. There are rare videos of her using a vibrator but that’s as far as it goes.