Mira David

Mira David porn! Finally, some good fucking food. Mira is a hot piece of young lickable ass. The only thing I have beef with for now is her name. Who the fuck decided to name her Mira? It’s so fucking close to Mia. Mia is a hot name, reminds me of slutty cutesy girls who love getting dicked by ten or more dudes. It’s the kind of name I’d predict to see tattoos across buffy men all over their chests. But no, they decided to curse her with an old lady's name. I had a neighbor with that name once. So, I’m associating it with her. Just a little ol’ lady tending to her flowers and looking rather… old lady-ish. Flab coming out of everywhere, short unkempt hair, speaks about the state of the government.

Thankfully, Mira saves her butt-ugly name with her dashing looks. I’ve reviewed a kajillion porn stars by now. Mira is the type of good-looking woman that will be stored in my long-term memory. And believe me, there are only a few. Especially solely because of their looks. Imagine how hot her porn is gonna be. All the chicks that I go back to, I do because they’re porn is hot. But Mira has that face that already screams porn. It’s hard to put into words. Yeah, sure, she has dick-sucking lips. But all of them do, that’s their job.

So, there’s something more about her. It’s the youth that contributes to her bustling fuckablitiy as well. And even that doesn’t encapsulate the whole picture. I bet when she was younger, boys in her class had fistfights over her. Men wanted to be with her, women wanted to be her. And here I am now, an old fart, fawning over this young hot piece of ass. Thankfully, I don’t need to be in any fights to the death. I’ll just lure her with the prospects of a huge dong. When she actually sees it and gets disappointed, it would be too late. At this point, in my fantasy, I would have charmed her with my irresistible personality… and cash. Mira, did I mention cash? I can buy you as much ice cream as you’d like. Just don’t get fat. If you get a little chub, we’re just gonna have more sex to make up for it. I think that sounds like a great fucking deal. Oh, by the way, I need to see you in a catgirl costume. It’s for me and my raging boner.

Simply Enamored

Finally, a perfect fucking pornstar. Have you any idea how rare perfect pussies are? There’s a subreddit called r/GodPussy. Those bitches be lying. And it’s not even like anyone can post there. You actually have to go through a rigorous process where you send the mods a plethora of pussy pics. Talk about a reverse world. It’s usually the men sending all the dick pics.

Nevertheless, to be on there and have old dudes fap to you, you need to have a pussy chiseled by the pussy Gods themselves. It seems like the mods have the standards of dudes that have only seen pussy in the mirror. A.k.a. the mods are pussies themselves and would let any woman pass so that they have the prospect of banging one of them. Which is a hilarious concept if you ask me. For the purpose of fucking, all pussies are good pussies. Yes, even the ones that smell like three-month-old rotten fish mixed with a bag of pennies used in WW2.

Feminists love to make drawings of all types of pussies, and how they’re all equally beautiful. They’re all equal, sure, but they’re sure as hell not all great to look at. A labia the size of my palm looks like my yesterday’s salami lunch. For the sake of window shopping, I want to see actual perfection.

Like Mira’s pussy. I want to frame pictures of her pussy and hang it all over my wall. When I wake up, I want framed Mira pussy on my ceiling. Tips and tricks on how to start your day off right. And if the stars have aligned for you and you have a girlfriend, who cares? If she doesn’t fawn over art like that, you need to give her the boot. I just can’t stop staring at it. It makes me so fucking hungry and thirsty. I want to devour that shit with my tongue until she passes out. It’s pink, it’s symmetrical, it’s tiny and tight as fuck. There’s no fucking chance in the world it smells like garbage. I can smell it through the screen. I can give you a guarantee that it smells like watermelon mixed with hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow. Mira, I demand you get bred as much as possible. Your genes should never cease to exist.

You Can’t Stop Me from Talking About Her Bits

This is my fucking show and I’ll do as I please. And anyway, I’m sure I’m already turning you on with my descriptive descriptions. Who needs to talk at length about her porn when the meat is in that butthole. And yes, I want my meat to be in that butthole. I don’t give a flying fuck if her porn is only pepe in vegana. She is the porn herself. It’s not the first time I’ve wanted to just plop an image in the middle of the review. You know, 'cause you need to see how hard I am right now for Mira. I think it’s actually growing in length. No, I haven’t used any peen-enlarging creams. That’s It, I figured out Mira’s secret. She some sort of mystical creature. A witch? A sex fairy? Who the fuck knows. But the effect she has on me is something not natural. It’s otherworldly. Do you even know what her asshole looks like? No, you don’t. Go fucking google it and come back. And don’t you dare stop reading and go jack it. Think of this review as edging. It’s like reading erotica, but it’s all text so you have to jack it to the imagination in your head. But hot digging dog, this time you can go and watch the movie after the book. Ain’t that just swell.

So, about her asshole. That little, tiny, lickable, suckable, fuckable thing will be the only thing on my mind for millennia to come. Except for her pussy. That’s game too. And of course, she stuffs it. I might actually cry. She knows how to choose her peen partner well. All I can see are guys with giga cocks. And that’s exactly what she deserves. And exactly what we deserve to see. When she’s not busy getting stuffed by cocks the size of MGO cucumbers, she stuffs it herself, with toys. Big toys. Toys that will tear your insides apart. So, not only is she the hottest chick in the solar system, but she’s also brave. Fuck me if I’m smitten, I just might marry this chick. I’m not even gonna ask for a harem, sister-wife, or open relationship kind of thing. Since I can’t function with only one chick, I’ll just ask for clones. And if that hasn’t been invented yet, well, I’ll get creative. Lucky for me, there are tons of wigs, maid outfits, and bunny ears in every sex shop ever.

Do the Fucking Math

If a train is speeding at 100 miles per hour, and there are 400 passengers on it, how many dicks can Mira take in a lifetime? Presuming she does porn until she’s 40, and now she’s 22, what does that leave us with? That’s right. Not enough cocks. There will never be enough cocks. I’d say she can ramp up the numbers and screw more dudes, double the numbers. But I don’t want this angel of perfect everything to get ruined by so much cock. I’m doing the math because I’m wondering where I’m gonna fit in. This is a life-or-death situation. No, not this time. Mira, don’t e-mail me, please. That’s too fucking passive for a pussy like yours. Expect me under your window with a boombox and a bouquet of condoms.

Actually, what the fuck am I saying? There will be no condoms involved. I will scrub my dick with acid for you. Clean it like it was never cleaned before. I’ll buy you so many morning-after pills. A lifetime supply. We’ll go somewhere where there are no people in a kajillion-mile radius. There, you can moan your heart out. And at night we’ll fuck under the stars. Have you any idea how this chick fucks? No, it’s not like she was made for porn. It’s stronger than that. Do you remember the movie “The Ring”? It’s like that. If you watch her porn and don’t fuck her in seven days, you die. That’s how blue-balled you’re gonna be. Jizz as much as you’d like. You will never be satisfied. I’m just happy technology Is advancing fast. One of these days, they’ll invent a build-a-bear for humans. When the Mira parts come out, the lines in front of the store will stretch to the moon. By the way, she does lesbian porn as well. Okay, now you can fap yourself into another stratosphere.