Britney Amber

Britney Amber porn! It's easy to forget that porn can do more than get your dick hard. Most of the time, a dude pulling up the internet to watch some snu snu has an objective in mind. That objective is to massage his wang until it blasts out the baby batter. It doesn't take a genius to understand this.

Giggle Jizz

However, from time to time, I pull up porn to get a good laugh, also. Parody porn has been a thing for as long as porn has. Often, parodies are based on major movie releases and combine good old-fashioned smut with humor. Few things on Earth feel as good as combining the delights of laughter and cumming.

For those that like to stick to the business at hand, parodies aren't just for laughs. They can also make fantasies come to life. Who hasn't watched a movie or show and thought to themselves, "I wonder what it would be like to dip my member in that bitch's cunt?" That's what I think about ninety percent of the time I watch TV. It makes following the storyline a bit difficult.

Parodies are so popular that some porn stars have built their fame upon them. For example, the incredibly sexy Britney Amber. She's funny, sexy, skilled, and ready to make you giggle jizz.

Some fantasies are quite common. The character Harley Quinn from "Batman" has been cosplayed more than almost anybody. Horny beta wimps can't get enough of her. Anyone who has ever read a Batman comic, watched a show, or seen a movie has thought about deep dicking Harley Quinn. She is the ultimate sexy crazy bitch.

Shockingly, Britney Amber has never played the titular character in porn. It might be the biggest sin ever committed in porn. We need to get this bitch in a Harley costume as soon as possible. I want to see Britney taking some Bat cock stat. I need that shit in my life.

While she's never dressed or undressed as Harley Quinn, she has played The Black Widow. I actually prefer the Black Widow. With the amount of porn I watch every day, I'm burnt out on Harley Quinn. It's like a guitarist listening to "Stairway to Heaven." Is it a good song? Of fucking course. Does any guitarist want to sit and listen to all ten minutes? Fuck no. Been there, done that.

Let's not forget about video games. There isn't a single nerdy video game beta on planet Earth that doesn't want to take Lara Croft to pound town. Those triangular tatas have inspired more stiffies over the last twenty years than any other video game character. They may have looked like a tent back in the day, but I'd still titty fuck those titty triangles all day. Even if I end up shredding my shaft on the sharp tip.

Once again, Britney Amber has not portrayed Laura Croft either. This bitch doesn't stick to the status quo. She's more creative than that. The bitch isn't a copycat. She's more likely to dress up as a sexy Earthworm Jim or Crash Bandicoot.

Tough Questions

Cartoons don't avoid getting the porn parody treatment, either. You might not like to admit it, but you've fantasized about fucking animations hundreds if not thousands of times. Can a Powerpuff Girl give me a handjob despite the fact they have nubs for hands? Can Cartman's mom from "South Park" give me neck despite not having a neck? Can Lisa from "The Simpsons" give me head without stabbing me with her head? Porn parodies seek to answer these questions and many more.

One of the most popular genres to spoof is horror. I don't know about you, but when that stringy black-haired bitch from "The Ring" emerged from the TV set, I hoped she would sit in my lap. She may be pale and greasy, but I bet she rides reverse cowgirl like a champion.

Unfortunately, not all porn tubes have parody content in their archives. I can't imagine why they wouldn't. While it's not necessarily the most watched category in porn, It's still an integral part of any balanced library.

Every time I see a typical civilian film, I find myself wondering what it would have been like if they cut out half the plot and replaced it with fucking. I can't think of a single flick that couldn't be made better with a few orgy scenes. Or if not an orgy, at least take a short blow job intermission. Throw me a bone over here.

Britney should be a part of every movie that comes out. I'd actually go to the movie theater if I knew I'd get to see Britney's tits on the big screen. Movie revenues would skyrocket.

Her sex scenes wouldn't need to be a part of the plot. Just smash cut to Briney Amber having her gash smashed about halfway through. I also recommend the ending credits get a sex scene also. That way, people are inspired to stick around and show respect to the boom mic operators.

Sex Makes Everything Better

I know what you're pondering right now. It's what everyone thinks when I make such a bold claim: What about "Schindlers List"? My response is always, "What about Schindlers List? Don't you think all that depressing holocaust shit wouldn't be easier to swallow with a titty milk chaser?

Of course, it would. Boobs are the only thing that could have made being in the holocaust a little easier to deal with. I try to be a glass-half-full kind of guy. I don't know about you, but whenever life hands me lemons, I dissociate through a regimen of masturbation, porn, and sex with sluts. My methods haven't failed me yet. I don't imagine it ever will, so I'll take on the holocaust cock first.

Imagine you're crying at the theater when suddenly the screen goes black, and Britney's coochie appears on the screen. What a perfect opportunity to use your tears as lube. My only request is that if I'm sitting in front of you, please don't cum on the back of my head.

Don't say it. I already know what movie you're thinking about next, and yes, "Roots" could be improved by sex scenes, also. First off, master and slave relationships abound in porn. Have you ever heard of BDSM, for fucks sake? "Roots" is already three-quarters porn. The only thing that ruins it is all of the clothing. I've got your panties in a bunder now, don't I? You hate to agree with me, but I'm making excellent points.

Before the Porn

I'm sure you're feeling a wide range of emotions right now, so let's cover some of Britney's basics while you recover. Britney Amber was born in Beaumont, California, on November 10th, 1986. Her mixed German and Italian heritage made her the best of both worlds.

Britney grew up an introvert that enjoyed skateboarding, soccer, and drinking heavily. And I'm not exaggerating about the drinking. She got her third drinking in public citation at the age of fourteen.

As I'm sure, you've already assumed, Britney's childhood wasn't great. The bitch wasn't raised by geniuses with their shit together. That's not how porn stars get made.

After graduating, Britney worked the overnight shift at a local hotel. She spent the night auditing paperwork and begging for the morning. Obviously, this was not a job that Britney wanted to do for the next sixty years.

From Escort to Porn Star

Britney began pondering a career in the porn industry after watching the documentary "Cathouse." She felt invigorated by the exciting lifestyle of the ladies on Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada. Britney reached out to the ranch owners on social media, and before she knew it, she was hooking in a brothel.

It was a tough pill for her husband to swallow at first, but it's not like he was making millions of dollars, either. If they wanted to retire, Britney would have to put her pussy to work.

It was clear to anyone who worked with Britney during her early days that the bitch was going places. She had the face, body, and skills to get far in the industry.

Many of her early hits were from parodies such as "Not Animal House XXX," "Barb Wire," "Batman VS Superman XXX," and "The Donald." Definitely be sure to check them out.

Britney Amber is sexy, big-tittied cock queen with a range of content that will have your cock expelling jizz in a heartbeat. You'll love her parody content, along with all the traditional shit she shoots.

I'd love to see Britney Amber film with Lubed. I want to see her incredible tits all shiny and oiled up. I'm sure they would look great.

But don't take my word for it. Take a look at Britney Amber today.