Cum Inside Me

Generally, there are four locations guys like to dump their load the most. In no particular order, those places are face, mouth, ass, and gash. There is no right answer here. Each is a blast (pun intended), so it's hard for me to choose favorites. Throughout the course of the week, you never know where I might sling rope next.

Spread the Love

I've doused every nook and cranny of the female form in my baby batter. But I didn't stop there. I also soaked every object in my house like I was marinating chicken. If you flashed a blacklight in my crib, it would look like a fucking sun flare went off. Even my pets have gotten accidentally caught in the crossfire. Now my goldfish complains if there aren't a few jizz drops in his bowl.

During my time on Earth, I've dispensed gallons of white down slut throats, liters of sperm into slut anuses, and kegs of semen against slut cervixes. And let's not forget about the face. I've pitched enough penis cream against bitch's faces to drown a fish.

However, as with many men, my favorite place to release the hounds is inside of a pussy. That's why today's review is for the subreddit r/CumInsideMe. It's no surprise that most gents favor a cream pie over other methods of cum disposal. The pussy was constructed for the sole purpose of extracting semen. Its walls are lined with the softest and moistest flesh to massage the cum from deep within the testies so it may have at the ovaries. Or if not the ovaries, a surly IUD.

Of course, orgasms always feel good no matter what, but when you fire a round into a bitch's gash, it provides a sense of achievement that other jizz receptacles don't. That's because your DNA slaps you up for a well-done job. You've accomplished your body's only goal. You've discharged seed inside of a vagina in a fashion that may lead to pregnancy. After you've done that, you might as well roll over and die.

Very few of my fans have emptied their nads into the genitals of a pretty female. It's tough to describe what it feels like to the uninitiated. It's fucking incredible.

The Best You Got

I can't provide you with any mechanisms, advice, secrets, or porn that can replicate the extraordinary sensation of gash. The best thing I can do for you is point you toward quality cream pie porn. If you can't fuck 'em, watch 'em on Reddit's r/CumInsideMe.

After much-spirited discussion, I think I've determined the sexiest thing a cunt can say. Before I drop this piece of critical knowledge, take a couple of guesses as to what it could be. Perhaps "Would you like a blow job?" How about "Stick it in my ass." Don't forget about "I'm naked and waiting."

The Cum Button

However, as great as those phrases are to hear, they aren't it. The honest answer is simple: "Please, cum inside me." Let's dissect that statement for a moment. The phrase starts with "please," which can't be neglected. It might not be the meat and potatoes of the expression, but it's the frosting on the cake. Not only does the dirty little whore want you to cum inside of her, but the please adds desperation. It's like she won't live without your cum in her pussy.

You'll hear a lot of pleases and thank yous on r/CumInsideMe. The ladies here love to feel baby batter fill every crevice of their cooters. When you give them what they want, they're nothing but appreciative. I always have a few ladies like this at the crib, and I tell them to use my penis as a faucet. Anytime they need cum just come over and turn me on.

The second word is cum. Obviously, this is my favorite word in the phrase. Anytime I'm asked to provide a load, I gladly produce it. Cumming is my favorite thing in this crazy life of ours. I'd use the word in every sentence if it wasn't uncouth and confusing.

Cum is a word you'll hear over and over again on r/CumInsideMe, but it's not the only aphorism for sperm that will grace your ears. You'll also hear classics like Jism, Spunk, Spurt, Splooge, Skeet, Squirt, and Nut, among others. Regardless of what your preferred sperm slang term is, you'll find it on r/CumInsideMe.

While "cum" is the fun action word in the sentence, "Inside" is the most consequential. There are many places to unload your ball barf. You can off-load in a bitches mouth, on her face, on her tits, on her TV stand, on her fine china, and even on her cat. However, as we now know, most men agree that deep inside the vagina is the best.

These days, bitches assume a man will pull out when it's gone time. That wasn't always the case. Back in the day, cream pies were always on the menu. That's what makes the words "Pease, cum inside of me" so potent. It's the perfect surprise to hear after putting in some solid stroke work.

The ladies on r/CumInsideMe know this. That's why they ask, no beg, no plead for the cum. If they don't, you might accidentally pull out, and nothing is worse than pulling out when you don't need to. It's the most challenging part of working as a stunt cock. You're not in control of where you bust a nut. I wanna cum where I wanna cum, when I wanna cum. That's how the Porn Dude operates. Come get some.

Men Love Cream Pies

It's no wonder that cream pie porn is invariably one of the most beloved subgenres in porn. No matter what other fetishes you may harbor, finishing inside a cunt's cunt is still the gold standard for load-blowing.

And it's also no wonder that r/CumInsideMe is one of the most popular porn subreddits ever created. I visit at least once a day. It's part of my religion, and I'm not the only one practicing.

One of the wonderful side effects of this popularity is that content is added to r/CumInsideMe at an insane pace. You won't be able to keep up. That's why I never miss a day. I don't want to fall too far behind.

Whether you like teens, midgets, milf, scat, gimp suits, BDSM, or feet, everyone wants to sling ropes against a bitch's cervix. I bet my readers are drooling down their faces right now.

All it takes is listening to depictions of jizzing inside a bitch's coochie to make a man erect. Especially if that man is one of my readers who never gets to cream pie a cunt. Your imagination must be running wild.

The Real McCoy

I know that many of my fans have spent hundreds, if not thousands, of their hard-earned dollars on fleshlights, pussy sleeves, auto blowers, and male vibrators. But it doesn't matter how much dough you spend, how fancy the pocket pussy is, or how many Gs the thing can pull. It will never feel as fantastic as slipping sperm between a bitch's vaginal walls.

I'm sorry you guys will never get to experience a cream pie. I feel a little extra shitty at this moment because I slung ropes into a bitch's slit only five minutes ago, and it was fucking awesome. I highly recommend it. Five stars.

But alas, you fucks are relegated to r/CumInsideMe. At least you have that, though. I couldn't picture what you're lives would be without r/CumInsideMe. You wouldn't even have the slightest sense of how tantalizing a cream pie is.

However, after only a few minutes of browsing r/CumInsideMe, you'll have the slightest idea of what it might be like. Hey, what do you want? A slight idea is better than nothing, which is what you would have without my guidance.

I suggest starting with the post pinned in the subreddit. It's a cream pie compilation personally curated by the admin at r/CumInsideMe. These guys are masters of their craft, so you can bet this is a grade-A nut-busting compilation.

r/CumInsideMe is one of the most popular porn subreddits out there, and for a good reason. Cream pies are the epitome of wonderful places to orgasm, and hearing bitches ask for it is arousing as fuck.

One thing r/CumInsideMe is missing is more compilations. I figured the place would be packed with them, but most posts are single videos. However, all videos come with a time stamp labeling when the fireworks begin.

I'm so sorry you'll never get to experience a cream pie in real life. Take r/CumInsideMe as a consolation prize.